Giving Yourself Grace:Learning Patience in the Healing Journey
- Breanna Potts, LPC.
- Jun 29
- 11 min read
By: Breanna Potts, LPC
“Healing is not linear.”
How many times have we heard that line? It may seem so overused, but with good reason! I often wish healing could just be one smooth climb up the mountain with no challenges, roadblocks, or uncomfortable emotions. I want a step by step list of instructions that will guarantee an outcome that I think is best. And also preferably at the exact time that I think I “should be better.”
If you also wish these things, welcome my friend. You are not alone! I apologize for being the bearer of not so great news, but this just isn’t the case for healing. Any healing journey will require discomfort, setbacks, and things definitely not going perfectly. Healing is unfortunately not linear. However, maybe I can help you see that perhaps it doesn’t have to be so unfortunate after all. Embarking on a healing journey can actually be both messy and beautiful. We just have to allow ourselves to receive grace and have patience. That is where my message in this blog comes in! My hope is that you feel seen in your pain and that your heart may opened to consider a different perspective.
Embracing the Journey of Recovery
Whether you're recovering from an eating disorder, navigating anxiety, processing grief, healing from trauma, or simply trying to become a more well version of yourself, there is one truth that often gets overlooked: healing takes time and healing requires grace. No one likes to hear that, I know! We live in such a fast-paced world obsessed with instant gratification that slowing down and taking time with something feels so incredibly painful. Like what do you mean we can’t just “add to cart” a self-help book, get it delivered the same day, and immediately be “better?” As a fellow same day delivery fan, I agree that this feels so unfair!
I find that many of us (myself included!) enter the healing process with an expectation that we should just be "better" by now. We criticize ourselves when old patterns show up, become frustrated when progress feels slow, and question whether we're doing enough, or “doing it right.” In those moments, what we definitely don’t need is more pressure! We need more compassion.
Giving yourself grace and practicing patience are not signs of weakness or complacency. They are essential parts of sustainable healing. However, there can definitely be a time when maybe we need to reflect and adjust if things just don’t seem to fit our needs anymore. We will break all this down, so stay with me!
What Does It Mean to Have Grace with Yourself?
Grace is the practice of meeting yourself with compassion instead of criticism.
It means recognizing that you are human, that mistakes are inevitable, and that setbacks do not erase your progress. Let me repeat that: setbacks do not erase your progress! Grace, in a nutshell, is giving yourself permission to acknowledge your struggles without defining yourself by them.
Having grace with yourself might sound like:
“Today was hard, and that's okay.”
“I don't have to be perfect to be worthy.”
“I'm learning, growing, and doing the best I can with what I know right now.”
“One difficult moment does not undo all of my progress.”
Grace is a gentle encourager inviting us to step out of self-judgment and into understanding. One way to begin shifting into this is instead of asking, “What's wrong with me?” you can begin by kindly asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” By making this seemingly small shift, you may notice that when you ask yourself what you may be needing, instead of talking down on yourself, your shoulders drop and tension is released. A small shift with a pretty big effect!
What Does It Mean to Have Patience with Yourself?
Patience is the willingness to allow growth to unfold at its own pace.
That’s a hard one to hear, I know. In a world that celebrates quick fixes, patience can feel uncomfortable. We want immediate relief, immediate answers, and immediate change. Yet healing rarely operates on our preferred timeline, which I will be the first to admit is incredibly hard to accept. Not impossible - just really hard.
Patience means accepting that healing happens in layers. Some days you may feel like you’re crushing it and feeling really hopeful. Other days, old patterns may come back up, or too many hard days happened in a row and you feel pretty defeated. Both experiences are part of the process.
No matter what kind of day you had, or which side of the spectrum you find yourself on, these things remain the same; your resiliency and your ability to do hard things. Patience allows us to trust the process, even when we cannot yet see the outcome. Being patient with yourself means remembering:
Healing and growth are not linear
Progress can look different day to day
Setbacks are opportunities for learning, not evidence of failure!
Lasting change often happens slowly
Why Grace and Patience Matter in Healing
Grace and patience may be really hard to implement sometimes, but they serve a very important purpose in your healing journey. Many people believe healing happens through pushing harder, trying harder, and demanding more from themselves. While this intensity of commitment is usually evidence of your desire to reach your goals and make progress, healing rooted in self criticism often creates more suffering.
Instead, when we approach ourselves with grace and patience, we reduce shame and self judgment, build emotional resilience, and create safety within ourselves. When meeting ourselves where we are at, and with the gentleness and kindness we deserve, we become more willing to continue moving forward after difficult moments. We learn to value progress over perfection!
Healing thrives in environments of safety, compassion, and acceptance. When we become our own ally instead of our own critic, growth becomes more sustainable.
How to Practice Grace and Patience During Your Healing Journey
Like any skill you may learn in recovery, grace and patience are no different and also require practice! Below I have outlined some practical ways you can implement the practice of patience and grace into your daily life:
1. Notice Your Inner Dialogue
How we talk to ourselves matters! Bring your attention to how you speak to yourself during difficult moments. Is the tone harsh? Mean? Or, is it kind? Encouraging?
Something I always encourage my clients to practice is to filter their self-statements through the lens of their loved ones. Would you say those same words to someone you love? If not, consider how you might reframe them with greater kindness because you deserve to be spoken to with kindness as well.
For example, instead of, “I should be over this by now,” try, “this is taking longer than I expected, but I am allowed to take my time.” Cue the exhale and shoulder drop. Kindness and self-compassion go such a long way!
2. Celebrate Small Wins
Healing often consists of small, seemingly ordinary moments, but what seems like a small win is actually a big win in the journey of healing. I always say, “a win is a win!” For example, maybe you set a boundary, or maybe you challenged a fear, or maybe you caught a hurtful self-thought and spoke kindness over yourself instead. All of these moments, and all the moments in between, matter! Acknowledging them is important and deserve to be celebrated! This can help build confidence and reinforce growth in the journey.
3. Allow Space for Imperfection
Healing is not about being perfect! No such things exists. It's more so about becoming more authentic, aware, and connected to yourself. Perfectionism is rooted in the belief that struggle means failure, but healing reminds us that struggle is just a natural part of being human. I promise, when you begin to embrace your humanness, you will feel so much better!
4. Practice Mindfulness
Something I know I can’t be alone in is becoming easily overwhelmed when focusing on how far I think I still have to go, or just thinking too much about the future. The remedy for this is bringing attention back to the present moment, also known as practicing mindfulness. I need this daily reminder, so I am also here to remind you that when your mind is racing, or you are feeling discouraged with how much feels left to achieve, simply redirect your focus back to this very moment, in this very day. If feeling discouraged, I encourage you to ask yourself, “what is one supportive thing I can do for myself right now?” Then I challenge you to do that very thing to support your healing!
For more information on how to practice mindfulness, feel free to check out this resource.
5. Remember That Rest Is Part of Healing
I know I already broke the news that healing is not a “quick fix,” but it bears repeating; growth does not happen overnight. Oftentimes healing looks like slowing down, taking a break, asking for support, or allowing yourself to simply be. Rest is not unproductive! Rest is essential as it recharges you to continue on in your healing. Please allow yourself to rest! This can look like taking a day to recharge with friends and family, or it can look like going to bed a little earlier to get some more sleep. It can be as simple as taking 5 minutes to deep breathe instead of scrolling social media or planning out the next task in your day. You need rest and you deserve it!
Why Grace and Patience Are Especially Important in Eating Disorder Recovery
Eating disorder recovery involves ongoing challenging of deeply ingrained thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. It requires tremendous courage, vulnerability, and persistence and we at Recovered and Restored are so proud of you for doing such hard things! We are so honored to walk alongside you in your healing journey.
Because recovery can feel so challenging and uncomfortable some days, many of our clients find themselves becoming frustrated when progress isn't immediate. There is often deeper roots of perfectionism and core beliefs that activate this frustration. I often find that many clients feel like if their use of symptoms decreased, they shouldn’t still be struggling. This is because eating disorders are mental and emotional and not just physical. Grace and patience are so important in the entirety of recovery and become essential at this point in recovery.
Recovery is not measured by perfection or checking off the boxes of decreased symptoms, weight restoration, or by any physical component alone. It is measured by so much more! Some of these ways include living more from your values and not your fears, engaging in your life rather than isolating, having more space in your brain to think and dream about beautiful things, and so much more! Your willingness to continue showing up, even when things feel difficult is tangible evidence of your innate resiliency. We understand this is not always so easy and so I’ve listed some ways grace and patience can show up and help your recovery. I hope it helps encourage and remind you of their importance in your journey!
Having grace in eating disorder recovery means:
Recognizing that challenges and setbacks are a natural part of the process
Understanding that difficult times do not mean your progress is lost!
Allowing yourself to be human throughout the process (and embracing this humanness!)
Separating your worth from your struggle
Having patience in recovery means
Trusting that healing relationships with food, body image, and yourself takes time
Accepting that some days will feel easier than others
Focusing on long-term progress and remembering how far you have come!
Continuing to practice recovery skills even when change feels slow
For many people, it has taken years to learn their eating disorder behaviors and for their beliefs to take root. It is unrealistic and unfair to yourself to expect yourself to recover overnight.
Healing often happens through repeated moments of choosing recovery, again and again. The goal was never to be perfect; the goal has always been to experience freedom. You got this!!
For more tips on eating disorder recovery, this resource offers additional tools.
How to Begin Practicing Grace and Patience Today
If you’ve made it this far in the blog and are feeling inspired, but wondering where to start, have no fear! I’ve listed some small steps you can take today to begin living in a practice of grace and patience.
1. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love
Notice one critical thought today and intentionally replace it with a kinder, more supportive response.
2. Acknowledge One Thing You're Proud Of
No win is too small! Celebrate your efforts, not just your outcomes.
3. Shift Your Focus of Healing to a Journey, Not a Timeline Your journey is uniquely your own.
There is no deadline for growth.
4. Practice Self-Compassion During Difficult Moments
When you are having a hard time, ask yourself: “What would I need to hear right now if I were comforting a friend?”
Then offer those same words to yourself.
5. Focus on Today's Next Step
You do not need to heal everything today. It doesn’t work like that! You only need to take the next supportive step that feels the most accessible to you. You are allowed to believe in yourself and have faith in the journey, even if you take the next step feeling a little unsure. You are not alone and we are here to help you begin, resume, or continue your healing journey!
A Gentle Reminder
I know it doesn’t always feel great to be reminded that healing is not linear, but I encourage you to see that healing is a relationship with yourself that deepens over time through compassion, patience, and trust. And friend, you are so worthy of those things!
There will be moments when progress feels tangible and moments when it feels lost. There will be days when you feel strong and days when you feel discouraged. All of those experiences belong in the healing process and never mean your progress was lost. The progress you make is written in your story and there is nothing that can take it away.
Lastly, I want to remind you that you do not have to earn grace, you do not have to be perfect to deserve compassion, and you certainly do not have to have everything figured out before you are worthy of recovery. Please offer yourself the same gentleness you so freely give to others.
Healing takes time and you are allowed to take that time. We see you, we believe in you, and we are rooting for you always!
Additional Resources for Eating Disorder Recovery
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We offer a wide variety of services related to eating disorder recovery including trauma therapy! We offer Weekly Support Groups, Nutrition Services, and Family and Parent Therapy as well as Coaching, all tailored to meet the specific needs of the individual. We offer our services for Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating, and Orthorexia as well as Maternal Mental Health, and eating disorder therapy for athletes online in New Jersey, Delaware, South Carolina, Maryland, Florida, Vermont, and Connecticut! We are here to offer our support and understanding in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
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Recovered and Restored is an eating disorder therapy center founded by Gabrielle Morreale, LPC. We specialize in helping teens and young women heal from eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia, and binge eating disorder and treat disordered eating, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. We provide eating disorder therapy in PA in the towns of Horsham, Upper Gwynedd, Lower Gwynedd, North Wales, Lansdale, Hatfield, Blue Bell, Doylestown, and nearby towns with eating disorder therapy. Also providing virtual eating disorder therapy in New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida. Some towns served virtually include but are not limited to Pittsburgh, Lancaster, Harrisburg, Center City, Cherry Hill, Haddonfield, Mount Laurel, Cape May, Avalon, Brick, Dover, New Castle, Bethany Beach, Marydel, and Oceanview
About the Author
Eating Disorder, OCD & Trauma Therapist
Breanna is one of our eating disorder, anxiety, OCD and trauma specialist. Breanna is a licensed professional counselor, who graduated from Gwynedd Mercy University in 2021. Breanna is fully EMDR trained. She is extremely passionate about helping teens and women struggling with self-esteem, disordered eating, eating disorders, body image, perfectionism, anxiety, and depression.
Breanna understands that recovery is a process and that you are not a person who needs to be fixed, but someone who needs support and a safe space for healing. Breanna uses a humanistic therapeutic approach full of unconditional positive regard and empathy. She would love nothing more and would be honored, to walk alongside you in your journey to reclaim your life and silence your eating disorder. Bree is formally trained in EMDR, DBT, CBT, and ERP. Breanna is fully HAES-aligned and is dedicated to helping you get to a place where you can say, “Been there, WON that!” Bree offers online therapy in PA, NJ, MD, CT, VT, SC, FL, and DE and coaching sessions worldwide.
Breanna is a pet mom to her dog and two guinea pigs and loves to spend her free time loving and caring for her fur babies! Breanna can also be found always with a good book and really good coffee in hand!
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