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When Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Stuck: How to Keep Moving Forward

Written by Breanna Potts, LPC | Eating Disorder, OCD & Trauma Therapist


Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "Why am I still struggling with this?" or "I thought I'd be further along by now."?


If so, I want to fully acknowledge how discouraging those thoughts can make you feel and gently remind you that you are not alone, and you are most definitely not failing. 

Feeling stuck in eating disorder recovery does not necessarily mean that recovery has stopped or that you are moving backward. Sometimes it means that the strategies that helped you earlier in recovery are no longer enough for the next stage of healing. It may be a sign that deeper emotions, coping patterns, perfectionism, trauma, or other needs deserve attention.


Feeling Stuck in Eating Disorder Recovery is Common

As an eating disorder therapist, one of the most common conversations I have with clients is about feeling "stuck" in their healing journey. It often shows up through statements, 

  • “I know what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it.”

  • “I feel like I've made progress, but now it feels lost.”

  • “Maybe this is just who I am.”

  • “I fail at recovery.” 

If you've had thoughts like these, you're in good company. There is no judgment here! Healing isn't a straight path, and it's certainly not a race. There are seasons where things feel lighter, moments where you surprise yourself with your resilience, and then there are times when it feels like nothing is getting better despite all your effort, and those seasons in particular can feel especially discouraging. However, despite feeling that way, it does not mean you “failed” recovery.


One of the most important things I remind my clients is that feeling stuck doesn't mean healing has stopped. Sometimes it simply means your mind and body are asking for something different than they've needed before—and that is okay!


What Does "Feeling Stuck" Actually Mean? 

Feeling stuck doesn't always mean you've stopped making progress. Sometimes it means you've reached a place where the next step feels scary, uncomfortable, or uncertain, and sometimes it means a different approach is needed for a newer layer of healing to emerge.


Sometimes stuckness creeps up on us and sometimes it feels like it came out of nowhere, all of a sudden. Below are some signs that I find with clients that tend to communicate we may be experiencing some stuckness:


  • Going through the motions but feeling emotionally disconnected.

  • Repeating the same patterns, or engaging in symptoms even though you know they're unhelpful.

  • Feeling less motivated to attend therapy or practice coping skills that have been helping you.

  • Wondering if recovery is even worth the effort anymore.

  • Feeling frustrated that you've “done so much work” and still have hard days. 


If that's where you are today, I am holding so much compassion for you, and I hope you'll give yourself the same grace.


Healing asks us to let go of the coping strategies that once helped us survive before we've fully learned to trust new ones, which I’ll be the first to admit is incredibly difficult, and dare I say… so unfair! And yes, it is unfair and difficult! Those feelings deserve to take up space and when met with compassion, they can lessen in intensity, thus helping us continue on the journey.


Why We Get Stuck

When people feel stuck, their first instinct is often to ask, “What's wrong with me?” 

I’d like to invite you to ask a different question. Maybe instead of utilizing blame and shame, try to allow yourself to get curious about your experience. This can sound like, “What is this stuckness trying to tell me?” Or, “What might I need to help myself move forward?”


Neuroscience research has shown that our brains are remarkably adaptive, with the ability to change and reorganize in response to experiences, learning, and other stimuli. If something feels difficult to move through, there's usually a reason. If you’d like to learn more on brain adaptivity and how healing changes the brain, this resource from Safe Alliance provides much more information.


Maybe you're exhausted from carrying so much for so long, or maybe perfectionism has convinced you that anything less than constant progress means failure. Sometimes the nervous system is just trying to ask for rest after months of hard emotional work. Or, even sometimes those seasons of feeling stuck may mean you're on the brink of a new chapter in your beautiful healing journey. No matter the reason, I genuinely know and understand that change (even positive change!) can feel so scary. 


Growth almost always requires us to leave behind something familiar, and while hard and scary, you can rest assured that what is waiting for you on the other side is so worth it! You are so worth it!


When Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Stuck 

If you are among those doing the very hard work in recovering from an eating disorder, stuckness can feel especially discouraging and frustrating.


Many people (myself included) expect recovery to become easier once they gain momentum on the behavioral aspects of recovery, such as consistency with meals, decreasing use of symptoms, and feeling less overwhelmed with the process. While those are truly incredible accomplishments, we know that recovery doesn't end there. That is often where a deeper layer of healing begins.


Behavioral progress is important, but reducing eating-disorder behaviors can expose the emotions, fears, experiences, or unmet needs those behaviors were helping someone manage. That doesn't necessarily mean treatment stopped working. It may mean recovery is shifting from changing behaviors toward building new ways of coping.

I know I don’t have to tell you that eating disorders aren't simply about food or body image, but it is worth mentioning because I know so much focus gets put on those areas. While food and body image absolutely play a role, they often are the tangible ways of coping with overwhelming emotions and experiences. So when recovery asks you to loosen your grip on behaviors around those things, it's so understandable that another part of you hesitates.

In working with clients in eating disorder recovery, I find that this hesitation does not mean you don't want recovery. Rather, it usually means if you “let go” of your eating disorder by engaging in deeper healing, how will you survive the hard stuff of life? In other words, “how will I cope?”


And I just want to pause there and acknowledge how scary and hard it is to have that question pop up. Asking questions like that make you human, and we at Recovered & Restored welcome you in all your humanness! It is safe to be human here and say the scary things out loud. 


I’d like to gently encourage you that these experiences don't mean you're moving backward. They signal that you're ready to build new ways of caring for yourself, coping with the hard things, and creating safety within your body and your life that lasts. 

So, maybe instead of criticizing yourself and asking yourself why you can’t “get over” something, instead try asking yourself curious questions filled with compassion, such as: 


  • What emotions have been hardest to sit with lately?

  • How is my eating disorder still serving me?

  • What need has this behavior been meeting?

  • How can I begin meeting my need in a more sustainable way? 


For more reflection prompts on hard days in eating disorder recovery, this resource offers support.


Recovery isn't about taking something away without replacing it; it’s about creating a life where you no longer need your eating disorder to make it through the day. I will be the first to tell you: that kind of life 100% does exist and it can absolutely exist for you.


5 Gentle Ways to Move Forward When Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Stuck

If what I am sharing resonates with you, I want to encourage you with some practical tools you can use to help move through these feelings of stuckness. I know some of us might love a list and take it and run with it and I see you and empathize! However, please know you do not need to make any dramatic changes to regain your momentum. Small and consistent steps tend to create the greatest shifts!


1) Reconnect with your “why.” 

Take a few moments to remember why you started healing in the first place. What kind of life are you working toward?


2) Look for progress beyond symptoms. 

Healing isn't measured only by what you've stopped doing. Notice increased self-awareness, healthier relationships, improved boundaries, greater emotional honesty, or moments of self-compassion.


3) Do one thing that feels slightly uncomfortable. 

I always say to clients that we want to remain in our window of tolerance, but push ourselves just enough so that we have a chance to practice distress tolerance and move toward growth. Learn more about the window of tolerance here.


4) Talk about feeling stuck. 

Many people keep their stuckness hidden because they feel ashamed. Sharing it with a therapist, dietitian, trusted friend, or support group often reduces its power. 


5) Practice self-compassion. 

Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you deeply care about. Healing is difficult enough without becoming your own harshest critic!


Small Steps For the Win 

One of the biggest myths about healing is that transformation happens through giant breakthroughs. This can absolutely happen and they are beautiful milestones in healing! However, in reality, healing is most often built through a collection of seemingly ordinary moments. It's choosing the coping skill even when it feels hard. It's asking for help when every part of you wants to isolate. It's eating the meal or snack, challenging the thought, setting the boundary, showing up to therapy, or trying again after a difficult day. 

These moments may not feel monumental at the time, but together they become your very own unique and remarkable journey toward recovery.


A Gentle Reminder That Feeling Stuck Is Not the End 

If you're in a season where healing feels stuck, I hope you know you are not alone and it is not your fault. Feeling stuck in recovery is something many, many people experience, and it is something that can be overcome. No matter where you are in your journey, or how long you have been navigating stuckness, I want to encourage you that your progress isn't lost because today feels hard. Recovery isn't measured by never struggling again. It’s measured by your willingness to keep showing up, even when it feels uncertain or imperfect. Hello, messiness in healing! Unfortunately, the mess is a part of the process, but a necessary part nonetheless!


So, if you feel stuck today, please don’t criticize yourself and assume you've reached the end of your healing journey, or that you are failing recovery. I don’t want to minimize the pain you are feeling, but I want to remind you that you are likely standing at the beginning of your next chapter, and what a beautiful place to begin again. We at Recovered & Restored would be so honored to enter this chapter with you! We see you, we believe in you, and we are rooting for you always!


Additional resources for Eating Disorder Recovery


Other Mental Health Services Offered in PA, NJ, DE, SC, MD, CT, VT, and FL

If you're feeling stuck in eating disorder recovery, you don't have to figure out the next step alone. The therapists and dietitians at Recovered and Restored help teens and women explore the emotional, behavioral, and practical challenges that can arise throughout recovery. We offer a wide variety of services related to eating disorder recovery including trauma therapy, Weekly Support Groups, Nutrition Services, Family and Parent Therapy in New Jersey, Delaware, South Carolina, Maryland, Florida, Vermont, and Connecticut.


We have immediate openings right now for eating disorder therapy in:

Delaware, New Jersey, Florida, Maryland, South Carolina, Connecticut, Vermont, and Pennsylvania. And recovery coaching worldwide.



About the Author


Breanna Potts, LPC, Eating Disorder, OCD & Trauma Therapist

Eating Disorder, OCD & Trauma Therapist


Breanna Potts, LPC, is an eating disorder, anxiety, OCD, and trauma therapist at Recovered and Restored. She earned her degree from Gwynedd Mercy University and is a licensed professional counselor and is formally trained in EMDR, DBT, CBT, and ERP. Breanna works with teens and women struggling with eating disorders, disordered eating, body image, perfectionism, anxiety, and related concerns, using a compassionate, humanistic approach to support clients throughout the recovery process. She understands that recovery is a process and that you are not a person who needs to be fixed, but someone who needs support and a safe space for healing.


 
 
 

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